Whatever you might think of John Mayer’s music, you’ve got to admire the man’s honesty. In a new interview with Rolling Stone, the singer/songwriter/lover-of-famous-women goes shirtless on the cover, but bares even more — probably too much — about everything from his love life to his self-pleasure habits to his favorite album.
On his headline-making relationship, and subsequent split, with Jennifer Aniston, John confesses to Rolling Stone, ”I’ve never really gotten over it. It was one of the worst times of my life.”
He adds, “I have this weird feeling, a pride thing, for the people I’ve had relationships with. What would I be saying to Jen, who I think is f**ing fantastic, if I said to her, ‘I don’t dislike you. In fact, I like you extremely well. But I have to back out of this because it doesn’t arc over the horizon. This is not where I see myself for the rest of my life, this is not my ideal destiny.”
Continuing on this not-exactly-romantic path, John admits, “All I want to do now is f**k the girls I’ve already f**ked, because I can’t fathom explaining myself to somebody who can’t believe I’d be interested in them, and they’re going, ‘But you’re John Mayer!’ So I’m going backwards to move forward. I’m too freaked out to meet anybody else.”
So maybe it doesn’t come as a shock that John has resorted to a new level of self-gratification. “I am the new generation of masturbator,” he explains. “I’ve seen it all. Before I make coffee, I’ve seen more butt holes than a proctologist does in a week… I have masturbated myself out of serious problems in my life. The phone doesn’t pick up because I’m masturbating. And I have excused myself at the oddest times so as to not make mistakes. If Tiger Woods only knew when to jerk off. It has a true market value, like gold bullion.”
To clarify, John says the underlying reason for his mass masturbation isn’t necessarily to please some carnal urge, but “because I want to take a brain bath. It’s like a hot whirlpool for my brain, in a brain space that is 100 percent agreeable with itself.”
Let’s just hope he’s alone with the curtains drawn while he’s taking these brain baths.
See more of the interview at RollingStone.com
I LOVE HIM..
I D I O T !!
as usual,he’s said too much.we didn’t need to know all that.
What a tool – literally apparently. Lucky escape Jen.
How old is this guy? He sounds like he’s still a teenager. Get over yourself.
Who talks about their ex’s to reporters. I’m sure he’s jealous of Gerard Butler,
a real manly man (doesn’t kiss and tell). Sounds like he was dumped and is mad.
Hey Pitty, I’m with you…..he needs to grow up. Jen needs a real man in her life, she deserves one.
HA! A little TMI for the public, if you ask me! So now we all know…John Mayer is a proud masterbator..woo hoo!
He needs to just shut up some of the time. He
sounds like a nut. He seems to be getting
worse all the time.
JEN DESERVES AN INTELLIGENT MAN LIKE GERARD……
JOHN IS AN IDIOT…………..
how absolutely inane
what a freak! Thank God she is no longer with him!!
Brain dead idiot! TMI – I didn’t like him before, now I really don’t like him. Self absorbed jerk.
What a (self indulgent) JACKASS!!! Is he on medication? If not, he may want to invest.
DOUCHEBAG!!!! Too bad he can’t just f*** himself.
How big is John Mayer’s penis? About 6′3″. After his train-wreck of an interview with Playboy, no self-respecting woman would want to mess with such a narcissistic douche-bag. His attempt at humor fell flat. Perhaps he should spend a little less time getting stoned, or better yet, STFU, and stick to music!