Val Kilmer has a schtick when he walks into the room at NYC’s The Regency Hotel. “Do you know what is practical about white linen? Nothing! You can get a stain on it just thinking about it. It’s staining right now to spite me.”
He namedrops about John Lennon, Bob Dylan, Marlon Brando and more before he segues into his movie Felon, which is in theaters now.
Stephen Dorff also stars in the prison drama that tells the story of what happens when a common man is forced to commit a crime to keep his family out of harm’s way.
Val can relate. The 59-year-old father of two found himself in the midst of a crisis when his daughter, 16, called him on the way into the movie theater with his 13-year-old son.
“I had just dropped her off 15 minutes ago, and one of the girls she goes to school with, they were out of school, and they wouldn’t let in the club because she was too high,” he tells me. “Then she couldn’t stand up. Then she was too high to sit down. Then she passed out, so my daughter couldn’t get the girls that she came with to come back out. They were too into the band. So she didn’t know what she was on, called 911, ambulance arrives – she’s going back and forth on calls with me, and I’m trying to get numbers of parents. The girl flatlined in the ambulance, and they zapped her back to life because of my daughter, and probably at least saved her from whatever percentage of brain damage and maybe saved her life.”
Val continues, “I was still upset with her about a couple of the procedures, like she didn’t stay on the phone because the ambulance was arriving, and she decided to click so I’m dialing back her friends number, I’m dialing back the club, trying to get someone on the phone to find out. But she had decided she needed both arms to get the girl upright. It’s very dramatic. It was down to seconds.”
When told it’s great she felt comfortable enough to call, Val gets animated.
“Thank you for saying so. She’s in France right now and God knows what she’s doing. If you can hear me, call me. You’re in the doghouse.”
Stephen Dorff is up next. He certainly wouldn’t want to find himself on the wrong side of the law. The actor reportedly got into a war of words recently with Jeremy Piven while waiting in line for the bathroom at a nightclub.
“I’ve known that guy for years,” Stephen says. “He was in a couple of my movies. We got into a verbal thing one night, and it became the biggest story I’ve ever seen, but I don’t know why because frankly it’s kind of boring. I’ve gotten in much more things that nobody ever knew about, which I’m glad about, thank God.”
Well, nobody became a Felon, a reporter yuks.
“Exactly. I would’ve crushed him anyway. But I only fight in the movies. I’m a lover not a fighter, that’s what my mom always told me.”
Stephen continues, “Any bar brawl I’ve had is nothing compared to what these guys are going through. I hope I’m never in that position to have to make the wrong decision.”
Felon is in theaters now.
For more on Val Kilmer and Stephen Dorff, pick up the OK! on newsstands now. “Jessica Alba’s Dream Baby” is the cover line.
Wow, today’s been a whirlwind. I left an event in Toronto this morning at 2:30am to go back to the hotel, work a bit and pack before my car arrived at 4am to take me to the airport. I transcribed an interview tape (and finished reading Harry Potter) on the plane, landed in NYC at 7:45am and driver waiting (thank god for small favors), got in the car, read the New York Post (which I sorely missed while away) and headed to the office to close pages – because we go to print every Monday. 
